Reply to Talk me out of being pissed at my husband about this

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh I would be really angry but I'd need to chill because 
1. you have not gotten buy-in from your husband on your vision for your kids
2. you do too much and insulate him from the demands of kids enrichment (and probably everything else)
3. men rarely have the same interest in giving kids the right inputs and experiences
4. and in my observation, women are more attuned to the needs of friend cultivating among kids.
5. since it was your thing, you should have gotten your kid's best friend's mom to drive your kid and just leave your husband out of it.  (His inability to 'get' the route made it clear he was not into it and likely to drop the ball.

I know this is all a PITA but address your own anxieties about the kid's needs, and don't transfer them to your husband.  He has other kid-rearing things he cares about (that you probably don't care a whit about and that's fine, that's how parenting SHOULD work.) [/quote]

+1000
One of the biggest points of parenting contention for us is the enrichment balance.  How far do you drive for this awesome summer camp? Do we have enough time for our kids to have enrichment in arts, stem, sports, and foreign language? Should the kids attend academically oriented summer camp?

I have to get DH's buy-in for two reasons.  One, I saw my mom make the decisions and the call for my dad to execute. I remember epic arguments over him dropping here or picking up there.  It was terrible.  For a long time it made my dad the bad guy in my mind because it made me feel like I was a burden and it was just better to not want to do anything then parents fight that the other should take you.  Then one day when I was working and living at home one summer my mom did that to me with my much younger sister's.  Being on the other end when you don't have a say in the commitment for them to do xyz, but have to drop everything and by the way told about it when you are half awake the morning of ...it's not cool and incredibly frustrating.  The second reason is related to the first, I can't do it all working full-time, not should I because it is important for the kid's dad to be involved - he will have strengths I don't have and vice versa.  Since I need some level of DH's involvement, he has to buy-in to what we commit out time and money to do with the kids.  So we we at a compromise where they do less than I want, but maybe more than he would arrange and still probably double or triple what I was involved in when I was their age.
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