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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]He called me to talk about it [/quote]

You and your son should not be discussing the father behind his back. It is divisive. Do not use the excuse of the two of you trying to "figurie-it-out". Unless your husband is abusive and it doesn't sound like so, they need to work through this transition themselves. This is probably about seeing your son as a man and less of a boy. [/quote]

I disagree with this. When my child's having an issue with her dad, she will sometimes come talk it over with me. I can then give my husband a heads up that she'll be discussing it with him, and pass along anything important. He does the same thing when she's having an issue with me. I would only be concerned if the child only ever confided in one parent, and didn't make use of the conversation with the preferred-parent to go back and address the issue with the parent they're having a conflict with.

They're kids. They're learning how to deal with people. Just like they might talk through an issue about how to deal with a friend, teacher, or coach, they might need to talk through how to deal with something with their other parent. We've also told our daughter she can call her grandparents or family friends if she thinks both of her parents have lost their marbles and she's looking for more input. A call the grandma to rat out how terrible her mom is being can often be the necessary thing to defuse a frustrated and emotionally intense teen.

But I agree if it's secret or furtive and the child and family aren't growing better at communication then it can become dysfunctional.[/quote]

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