Reply to This stepmonster gem from Carolyn Hax

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So bio mom gets to decide exactly how her money will be spent after she dies, on what is essentially a luxury item. It necessary for raising her daughter.  Meanwhile, the dad and stepmom are still required to actually raise the child, to pay for food, provide her a nice living space, drive her places, and do all that parents do every day.  I find it really indulgent and self centered for a parent to provide a luxury good to their child, and to leave it to other (any stepparent a included) to actually do the heavy lifting of parenting and to pay for it.  Also, I'm really doubting the daughter is the actual beneficiary on the insurance policy.  I'd guess the father is, and that he is now informing his wife that the funds are restricted due to what his first wife would have wanted.  Guess the first wife would not have wanted a roof over her daughter's head or food on the table, just the luxury of private school.  Think if it this way, the step mom's contributions in time and money in raising and providing for her stepdaughter may well be far in excess to the money she and the dad would need to upgrade homes to a good school district.  but let's just be sure that girl gets to continue in private school, because that's really the only important thing.  [/quote]

Okay stepmom.

We understand that you think marrying into an established family means you think your wants and comforts override any agreements or plans that the father and originsl mother had for their children, that the original wife's money is now yours (and eventually your own children's) right to have and spend as you see fit, and that your want of a luxurious house trumps the NEED of the original kids for stability following their mom's death and planned for and agreed upon by both their parents.

But your arguments only show that you have a greed problem and an ethics deficiency.

In a case like this (life insurance/inheritance from dead mom) it is crystal clear that you have zero claims to this money, not even a dime.  To insist otherwise is just selfish.

There is no gray area when it comes to this situation.[/quote]

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