Reply to Would you date guy who grew up in foster care?

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[quote=Anonymous]It always amazes me what people think is appropriate second date disclosure topics. I think that very current serious situations merit disclosure: "I'm fighting for custody of my three ES age children.", "I have stage three cancer.", "I had a DUI last month and might be going to jail soon." all seem reasonable disclosures of potential deal-breakers. But complex, past situations like having been in foster care or surviving child abuse/DV/sexual assault? I think those can wait until you know the person a little better and can contextualize what they are telling you. I survived childhood sexual abuse, I'm not a hot mess according to my fiancé, and he's seen my worst PTSD flashbacks by now so he knows what he speaks of. I did tell him before we became sexually intimate, but after we had established emotional intimacy and trust. I knew that even if he said deal-breaker he wasn't going to blab my story all throughout our social circle or tell people I was damaged goods.
I dated a vet who lost a leg in Afghanistan. I think he told me on date two or three. But it came up very naturally because of something we were discussing, not this huge "I have something to tell you." Or "You'd better know this about me before we go any further." Still, I didn't really know him yet and my mind definitely flew to "How does this impact me?" rather than "How is this part of the whole package of Larlo?" We actually went on to become casual friends rather than lovers and I see that his injury isn't the most important thing to know about him.[/quote]

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