Reply to Sister settling - should I just shut up?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Shlubby? What's that even mean? He doesn't dress well? Nothing in your post indicates that she hasn't grown to love him. Frankly you sound pretty snobby. MYOB.[/quote]

I'm not sure I'm using the word accurately, but that's not what I meant at all.  He dresses really well, actually.  Wears designer clothes and really trendy glasses.  But he's slouchy and complains a lot (for example, after coming in from a walk he was groaning about how sore he was).  This is just different from the rest of us who aren't big complainers.  He's a big gesture guy, always brings beautiful flowers or chocolates, but it seems like over-compensating.  But they are also relatively young, and in the new stages of romance, and he treats her well.  [/quote]

So he is a bit "slimy?"  Low tone car salesman kind of person?  Hard to take, I get what you are trying to say if I interpreted your words right?  I wouldn't like him either if "slimy" is the right word.  You say "Should I just shut up?" meaning that you already said something.  It is too late now, but keep quiet from now on, to try to salvage any damage you have already done.[/quote]

More like a slimy high-end salesman, but also a good talker.  Something just feels...yuck!  I haven't said anything to her recently, but I did engage with her when she brought up the things she was not thrilled about in the first few months.  More recently I've made a few jokes that probably hit too close to home as they have a grain of salt.  That's what I'm going to stop doing.  I haven't said - "Beth, Daniel isn't good enough for you and it seems to me like you're settling because you're worried about ending up alone and don't think you can find someone you love as much as ex BF," which is what I'd say if it were appropriate for me to voice my actual opinion.  [b]I should add that my sister is beautiful, smart, and a good person, so she really really doesn't need to settle. [/b]

At the end of the day, this is her decision.  He wont hurt her.  He will be a good partner.  They may live happily ever after or may break up - who knows, but I don't need to weigh in anymore.  [/quote]

'settling' has little to do with being beautiful and smart. the problem your sister is facing that most of her best matches are already taken - married, or about to get married with their long-term partners.

sure this guy doesn't sound very appealing and it doesn't look like they are really that good of a match. the problem is - who is going to be next guy? are there some better guys around...? i am not saying there aren't but it's really really tough out there even for the most attractive women.[/quote]

This. There plenty of beautiful, smart, good women out there. Some get lucky, some don't. Don't judge. Your sister wanted marriage, and it looks like her wish will be granted. You should be happy for her, not judgmental about her choices.[/quote]

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