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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, most people have at least one person in his/her lives who are just bad for them. Some of us have had friends we stopped talking to because their presence brings us down and worse, brings out the worst in us. I've come to the conclusion that this is the truth about my relationship with my own parents. A few years ago I realized that talking with them for longer than 10 mins on the phone or even in person just results in negative conversations that are nothing but massive wastes of time. I would be one of those people who would end up in an hour-plus phone call with both of them on the phone yelling at me about my need to do this, do that, etc. Do I really need to open myself up to yet another argument about XYZ? NO WAY!

At one point I said, "wow," an hour went by that I could have spent reading a book, enjoying a cup of coffee at the nice cafe down the block, talking to a good friend, cleaning the bathroom, whatever. So many say, but but but they're your parents, you'll miss then when they're gone. Yeah, ok, however, if you walk away from interactions with them feeling worse about yourself or life in general, who cares who they are?

Get out of the house ASAP. This sounds like something that's been going on forever and it's not going to change. Focus on your move, your life, how you want to spend your time. 
[/quote]

Op here- thank you, I really appreciate this as it's exactly how I feel. 99% of the time, talking to her just makes me feel like shit about myself and I wonder why I even bother. I've been wanting to completely cut her off for years now but just never did it. [b]We'd been getting along well lately but most likely because I've been doing so much for her that she's had nothing to complain about (cleaning the house, grocery shopping, making dinner for everyone, etc.).[/b] I'm just ready to give up and realize we will never have a healthy relationship.
I'm in a happy, long term relationship with a great guy and we are starting a future together in 2 weeks and moving to a new state together to start a new chapter in our lives and I think now is a good time for me to just cut her off. [/quote]

These are the kinds of things people are expected to do when they stay somewhere for free. But you make it sound like you are doing something extraordinary to placate your mom -- you are not. You are doing what is expected of you.[/quote]

Op here- no, these things are not expected of me at all. As i stated above, they told me the ONLY thing that they wanted from me over the month was help with my sister. My mom doesn't clean, doesn't cook, doesn't do anything. I do the above things to help my father out as he's normally the one who has to handle everything as my mom likes to be catered to. I don't think that if you have someone statying with you  for a month, you'd expect them to grocery shop and clean your house. I do it all because I'm around and able to and I know it helps my dad. I buy my own food so they don't feel like they have to feed me and while I'm out buying my own groceries, I pick up stuff for them...on my own dime. [/quote]

OP, these are EXACTLY the kinds of things that are expected of you when you stay for free as a guest in someone's home. You will be expected to do these kinds of things again should you ever be a guest in someone else's house in the future. Consider it a lesson learned.[/quote]

wow your guests must love you if you expect them to buy you groceries and deep clean your house  :lol: [/quote]

That's what I expect of myself as an extended guest, to make life easier for them. [/quote]

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