Reply to I'm on the verge of divorce, talk me down

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[quote=Anonymous]"I'm a SAHM to a 2 year old. It's hard. All day I'm. Cleaning up messes. But I enjoy staying home and my dh prefers it. I love my dh but he is always making messes. As soon as he comes home from work the messes begin. He leaves his shoes out, leaves lights on, leaves cabinet door opens, opens stuff out and leaves packaging on the floor, puts stuff in the freezer without closing the packaging. His job is to do the dishes but he constantly forgets to load all the fishes, doesn't pre-rinse them good enough for them to be clean, etc.

I know this seems small but it's driving me crazy. I have to be home all day, and for once I'd like to wake up in the morning to order before my toddler rips everything apart. Or not have to spend every moment of my life cleaning up after someone. Is this something stupid to divorce over? I've talked dh about it a million times."

Unless there is much more to your relationship than is described in this post (i.e. you have lots of other tensions and they manifest themselves with these "messes"), I think your reaction to potentially divorce is wildly over-the-top.

Your definition of a "mess" is also crazy strict...leaving a light on?  Cabinet door open?  He could leave every cabinet door open in the kitchen and you could close them all within 10 seconds...done.  A light switch?  Less than 1 second.  Assuming all else is well, and you truly love your DH, these seem like very minor sacrifices.  It's not like he's having his buddies over for poker night 3x a week and leaving the living room littered with beer cans.

You also say "I enjoy staying home" and then say "I have to be home all day."  First you say you enjoy being home, but then frame it as a death sentence as it relates to these messes.

Sure your DH doesn't sound perfect, but you don't think he's making sacrifices for the relationship?  You don't think he has to sit in traffic, or answer to some annoying A-hole boss at work?

If you really loved your husband as you say, you wouldn't be considering divorce over a couple of light switches.  You sound so spoiled.[/quote]

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