Reply to 10-yo DS asked me if i regret marrying DW

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[quote=Anonymous]Kids often know there is a problem before the parents.  They are very intuitive and have no reason to be in denial.  Also, they usually experience real love from each parent and they can observe that each parent treats the other parent with much less affection.  If the gap is fairly large, they put two and two together.  They also notice snippy, sarcastic little comments that a parent might make that parents don't think kids hear or understand.

I presume the reason you are raising this issue is because you are wondering if your efforts to "stay together for the kids" is worth the effort if the kids see right through it?  Or am I just projecting?!  Because that is what happened to me.  My husband was cheating, alcoholic, and drug addicted and I was trying to hold things together for the child.  Then the child started asking me pretty pointed questions about whether I loved DH and whether we were going to get divorced.  I had trouble white-washing the answers ...

We are now separated and in the middle of the divorce process.  We made that move independently of the child ... husbands cheating was too intolerable.  But I think losing the illusion that the child was unaware of our problems probably accelerated the process.[/quote]

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