Reply to Does it help to hold back for a year?

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[quote=Anonymous]In response to the person who asked about holding girls back, our DD is NT but was very shy and socially awkward as a young child. I used to think of her as a turtle who stuck her head out to look around and then pulled back into her shell. At the end of her 3 year old nursery year, the teacher suggested having her repeat it, and we did. At the end of her 4 year old year, she moved on to K, but at the end of that (she was now just turning six as a May birthday), the teachers told me she was not ready for first grade and they would not move her on. I was upset, but followed their advice. Oh my gosh were they right! The extra year in K gave her confidence - she went from being the youngest and littlest to bring the big girl who helped all her younger peers tie their aprons for painting and assisted others in the more complex tasks they had to do. She sailed to first grade the following year and has absolutely excelled socially and academically since. No one believes me when I tell them how shy and awkward she was because she is the model of poise and engagement.

Now, she was in a play-based preschool and kindergarten so she was focusing on building the social and emotional skills she needed, not solely academic skills. Academically she has always been strong and even advanced, so if your preschool and K are mainly about academics, then holding a child back who is academically strong would just make her bored and out of place. The reason the extra year benefitted DD was that she got to work on the social skills she needed in an environment that provided a lot of support and opportunity to take on leadership, which built confidence and ability.

DD was a bit bored in second and third grades at times but her teacher was great about giving her extra work. Once she hit fifth grade, with the option to be in advanced classes, all has been great academically, and she is soaring now as a rising 8th grader.

While DD was tall as a preschool and kindergartner, it has turned out that her development has been somewhat delayed so she is definitely in the right grade for her even though she is one of the oldest in her class.  [/quote]

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