Reply to Please give me advice - even if that means you tell me I am wrong

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a different take on all this if you're still reading. DH and I have been commuting in together for the past 2 years and it has changed our marriage for the better. We have young kids and demanding jobs that often require us to work from home at night. We had very little time to just hang out together, and we were growing apart and growing resentful. Now we have 30-45 minutes every morning with no interrupting kids to talk about anything and everything. It's really been great for us.

BUT, he's an angry driver and it also annoys the hell out of me. I basically treat him like I treat my 3 yo: positive attention for what I like and negative attention for what I don't. When he starts ranting or calling other drivers names, I just stop talking, look down, and read my phone. After a few minutes, I'll resume conversation as if nothing happened. Read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?ex=1169438400&en=3edcee0d461222fa&ei=5087&excamp=mkt_shamu totally helped me.

On the politics thing, we have a similar dynamic. We are both democrats and liberals, so generally aligned like you and your DH, but my DH has a reactionary streak running through him and we have had vicious fights over abortion/Planned Parenthood and Donald Trump. In fact, we just had one about 15 minutes ago and I'm still fuming. There are plenty of times we can talk about politics rationally, but sometimes we just can't. I definitely can't give you advice on this one because I still don't have a great strategy. I have noticed that we fight, as opposed to discuss, when issues are fresh and more painful. So, we had a nasty fight right after the Hobby Lobby decision. And tonight's fight comes in the wake of Orlando. A cooling off period after big events to let emotions temper, before discussing in the first place, might help.

GL! I'm not divorcing my DH either. And hopefully he won't divorce me when I get so angry that I call him stupid and bigoted. We all have our weak moments.[/quote]

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