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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Concerned about dh being a father"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dafuq did I just read? I was really concerned about OP, and then I swapped the genders in her post and was concerned with humanity as a whole. How many women do this same crap to their daughters? Shoes, makeup, princess stuff... like that's all "girls" can communicate about. OP, there are as many ways to "be a man" as there are men on the planet. Not all men enjoy sports, and they're certainly not the secret male-bonding handshake you seem to assume them to be. Similarly, liking sports, camping, and having a penis aren't guarantees against "wimpiness" (whatever that may mean to you), nor is being "wimpy" (or perhaps more accurately "sensitive") some kind of social curse in any but a toxically hyper-masculine culture that doesn't allow boys/men to be actual people with feelings. Like several PPs, I'm concerned about you being a mother. And a wife. And a human.[/quote] That is unfair. I express concern because my dh, himself, has expressed resentment and regret over not being socialized like other boys by his parents. He had tough time as a kid, being bullied in middle and high school for being "wimpy." He found his footing in college and has grown into a wonderful young adult. We both do NOT want our boy to have to go through that. I also babysit a lot, and I've noticed in our neighborhood that the boys who do well have fathers who are involved in boy-activities. This popular kid in our neighborhood, his father coaches their baseball team and he and his little friends think they're awesomesauce. This other boy, who is a video game nerd like his dad, is bullied and isolated. Its painful to watch. [/quote] Sounds like both you and your DH are projecting quite a bit here, not to mention that you're equating popularity with being well-adjusted. Instead of focusing on whether your DH will play sports or be involved in "boy-activities" to help your son not get bullied, perhaps you should instead figure out how to raise a resilient, self-assured kid who can stand up to anyone who might try to bully him regardless of how he looks, whether he plays sports or is into video games, AND who won't be a bully himself. Playing sports or having your dad involved in such activities does not guarantee that your kid won't be bullied or have an easy time growing up. [/quote]
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