Reply to Mom still talks trash about other woman (now dad's wife)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Admittedly, my dad behaved really badly - [b]affair for multiple years, brought my then-toddler brother to trysts, and had his marriage to my mom annulled so he could marry OW (now his wife/ our stepmom in the Catholic Church). [/b]Obviously our home life was dramatically affected when the truth emerged - I was in my mid-teens and my brother was in elementary.

The thing is, at any opportunity my mom will launch into a tirade about this woman. I'm less affected because I left home a couple of years after they split, but my brother dealt with a decade plus of shared custody etc - so I think my mom's narrative affects him more. Once again, I totally understand my mom's anger, but it's exhausting to hear her tear into this woman so often. [b]Frankly, I think it reflects badly on her at this point - this all happened fifteen years ago. [/b]

How can I change the subject when she starts up? Is there any way I can gently suggest finding an outlet for her feelings, or indicate that these tirades make me (and my brother) feel uncomfortable? [/quote]

What a bad daughter! Your mom gets screwed over by your dad, and she should just get over it?

You SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FATHER!

He's a piece of shit. [/quote]

Really? The children should not have a relationship with their own father because he hurt their mother? Who does that help, exactly?[/quote]

When you cheat on the spouse you equally cheat on the kids, hence family.  Yes he is a pos, and while it's up to OP I would stand by her mom.  Forget the dad, it was long over apparently.[/quote]  This.  BTW, you don't get to put a limit on someone else's pain.  Not only was she screwed over by her husband.  Her kids are pretty unfeeling, too.[/quote]

OP here. I'm not unfeeling. You are, but I'm not. I don't seek to put a limit on my mother's pain, but here personal and vicious attacks on stepmom feel a lot like emotional incest - more so when I was *still in high school.*[/quote]

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