Reply to Is it normal to take multiple vacations but never visit family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My IL's do this.  It's fine if you don't want to visit, but stop saying that family is important to you or that you love us.  I certainly can't say it back.  Just admit that you would rather do something else, and you don't care about, or really even know, your family.  Why keep up the ruse?[/quote]

That's quite a leap, don't you think?[/quote]

No.  What's a leap is going from, "I have made small talk with you a few times at family get togethers and once or twice had a long conversation" to "I love you and our relationship is very important in my life."  
If you are a nice person, you think "oh my god, I have to make more of an effort with this person, I am VERY Important to them."  Then later you realize that they aren't really making an effort to see you, you aren't really that important, and it was all just bogus, so you might as well focus on the relationships that are actually meaningful.  
I guess what I don't understand is, why the ruse?  Is there some invisible audience I am unaware of?  We don't love each other or have a meaningful relationship.  We both know that (now).  Who are you faking it for?[/quote]

Exactly this. If someone/family is important, bottom line is you make the effort. Especially when time/money are not the concerns.

But don't keep up a charade of saying "family is important." [/quote]

I would not visit martyrish an demanding people either.  And you know damn well that if your family member sat you down and said they were not interested in a close relationship with you, you would be on here boo-hooing about it.  Demanding people are never satisfied and there is no point in even trying. [/quote]

Um, one of these things is not like the other, pp. Damn you've got projection issues.

[img]http://blog.perspectivesjournal.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/06/Sesame_St1.jpg[/img][/quote]

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