Reply to How to be closer to DD (age 11) if I'm stretched thin (working and with 3 kids)?

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Reply to "How to be closer to DD (age 11) if I'm stretched thin (working and with 3 kids)?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the OP who posted this back in December 2015.

My DH and I are starting to worry about our DD's lack of effort in school.  I re-read what I wrote in December, and it seems so true now.  "I sometimes wonder if my DD is a bit depressed, even though she is only 11 years old. Despite having a stable family life and a nice school to attend, she seems kind of blue generally. She has always been this way! I remember that, even at age 2-3, my grandmother commented that DD was “such a somber child.” I still remember her saying those words even though it was about 9 years ago!"

A few months ago she got a fairly large part in the school musical, but the performance is weeks away and she has not put in enough effort to learn her lines.  Just this week, her music teacher has told her point blank that, if she does not learn her lines by next week, she will be replaced in the play.  Rather that use this as motivation, she is very sad and depressed.

Her grades are pretty decent, but seems like they should be better for such a bright girl.

Any thoughts on motivating a kid to rally to keep their part in a play?  I wish she had internal motivation to help her.

[/quote]

Have you looked into whether she might have some anxiety issues?

Can't put my finger on what made me think of that, exactly.  But if she has an above average fear of failure (or of not being "good enough"), then this is very much NOT an issue of motivation.

Many people who internalize their anxiety exhibit behaviors like excessive prograstination.  Or they tend to withdraw or disengage from situations, events and even people that they initially liked and enjoyed, but that now cause them undue stress and anxiety.  Basically, sometimes even the good things and people become to fraught.

Might be worth exploring with your pediatrician or even the school counselor if s/he is on top of these things.[/quote]

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