Reply to Wife Needs to Stop Dumping All Her Emotional Negativity on Me. It's Killing My Love for Her

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Reply to "Wife Needs to Stop Dumping All Her Emotional Negativity on Me. It's Killing My Love for Her"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hmm.  If you are shutting down when she tries to share her problems, maybe she feels like you aren't really hearing her or giving her the help/advice she needs.  When she tells you about an issue with your kids, do you help her think about ways to solve it? Do you give her suggestions on how to deal with her work problems?  What you see as "dumping" might be her asking for your help, and if you're basically ignoring her and shutting down, it's not surprising that she brings up the same issues again and again.[/quote]

Start acting like a team. Step up and YOU handle the teenagers' issues. Step up and take her on a nice vacation. Step up and help her with a job search or networking. Step up and tell her what she is doing a good job on. Step up and EMPATHIZE that you know it is hard to parent teenagers and work at the XYZ place with all its toxic politics, etc.

Also, OP, make sure you are contributing or augmenting any of these "complaints."  Complaining is an output. Figure out what the input is and fix that. And don't cop out and blame her personality, that's a lazy cop out.  Figure out the real problem.  Don't to the BS stiff upper lip thing, and god forbid, if you have daughters do not tell them to suck it up. Listen, empathize, be a father, be a husband.

If you can't be that, encourage her to hang out with her girlfriends more, perhaps they can offer her better support. [/quote]

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