Reply to Wife Needs to Stop Dumping All Her Emotional Negativity on Me. It's Killing My Love for Her

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Reply to "Wife Needs to Stop Dumping All Her Emotional Negativity on Me. It's Killing My Love for Her"

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[quote=Anonymous]I summarize the day's BS for DH.  We have a 4 year old, so we get 30 actual minutes of possible talking a night.  10 minutes I tell him things (if that, probably 5), 10 (probably 5) minutes, he tells me things, and the other moments we talk about DD.  Probably 15 minutes total.

Point is, the partner needs the abridged bitchy version of 3-5 minutes and then let it all go and move on as a happy family.  It is hard to do, and sometimes requires me to not care about my job.  Sometimes that takes the form of boundaries.  Sometimes, it is something else.

I know that DH doesn't want to hear me just complain.  So when I complained about breakfast this morning in 10 seconds, because I couldn't shut my mouth, I spent a lot of time making sure he knew I appreciated the fact that he made it.  And he made coffee.  And he brought it all to the table.

I gchat with DH all day, so I can vent and he can look at a list of messages, respond to what he thinks is relevant and move on.  I get to tell him about X, Y, and Z, and  he sees it all, but he can skim it.  He can ignore it, he can respond to it.  But I don't feel like I have to tell him anything about any of what I rant about on gchat when he comes home.   I have a few longs rants for me.

I sometimes save the sweet conversations for when he's in person, because I know we'd enjoy them.[/quote]

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