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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. As I said, my DD does NOT have a phone or her own device. These other girls do. My DD uses our shared family device and I monitor her texting which I began to allow after she showed me she could be responsible.

Like it or not, from my understanding most kids get phones in middle school and begin texting. When my daughter asked about it this seemed like a way to teach her about online communication by talking about it together and me helping her manage it by reading and limiting access.

In terms of diversifying her friend  portfolio- yes we are doing that as much as we can. We are new to the area and at a small public school with not a ton of girls in the grade. I'm anxious to move on to middle school where there will be a bigger pond for her to swim in, friend-wise. My daughter is also somewhat shy and anxious which is a bit of a hurdle in meeting new friends. We are working on that.

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I have a 5th grade DD who also texts and there are plenty of parent a monitoring and a few time parents have texted back when their were inappropriate texts or too much/too late texting. At the 5the grade level, Don't be afraid to text these girls back, identify yourself and tell them the type of texts they are sending are unacceptable.[/quote]

[b]I don't think it's "inappropriate" for a 5th grade girl to tell another one that her rude comment hurt her feelings.[/b] Of course it's stupid to us, but they're 5th grade girls, this stuff does matter to them. If a mom feels the need to intervene in that interaction to scold a 10 year old girl, that's weird.

What OP needs to do is begin teaching her daughter how to mollify drama before it gets out of hand. "Jenny, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I thought I was joking, but I can see how it might have embarrassed you to be told your food is gross. I'm sorry." And then leave it! Don't engage back and forth, don't say stuff like "Well I wasn't saying it to be mean so get over it." And if it's brought up at school tomorrow all she has to say is, "I already apologized."

The problem with not allowing texting is a) she already does so it's hard to put the horse back in the barn and b) the kids are getting older and all will be texting soon enough. So the DD DOES need to learn appropriate boundaries and how to handle texts and whatnot. You can't just take the easy way out and temporarily ban texting, this will just kick the can down the road so she'll have to deal with it in 7th or 8th grade.[/quote]

Wow - you are such a sucker  :P  I can't believe sometimes how easily adults are manipulated by little kid nonsense.

Seriously, the girl didn't really have her feelings hurt she was just trying to stir the pot and create drama as the OP stated.  This  happens all the time. Every. Single. Day.

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And? Even if she is, it's just as dramatic for a mom to get on the phone and text back that it's inappropriate. Maybe it did hurt her feelings. Maybe she's shit stirring. Point is, op's daughter and other kids need to learn how to handle that and simply taking the phone and saying the other girls are dramatic doesn't teach them how to do it. [/quote]

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