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[quote=Anonymous]Attorney here married to a consultant. You need to do nanny. If your jobs don't support that financially I would seriously consider staying home. We have a lot of friends who also have two demanding jobs and from what I see the only way it works is with nanny. And no, we are not rich. Tons of loans, early in our careers but the nanny is non negotiable for so many reasons. 1) your child needs the love/stability of one continuous caretaker and in the infant stages i think its pretty insane we leave one adult to care for 3-4 infants. 1:1 is a much, much better ratio. as your child gets older the nanny can take her to playdates, classes, to see you during lunch, whatever you want. 2) nanny can help with some household tasks. our nanny does all of our DD's laundry and food prep and cleanup. She also will start dinner for DH and me and tee it up so if we are early we can eat with DD. 3) nanny is just more flexible with daycare. our nanny is at our house for 10 hours a day but has stayed longer in emergencies. she has also helped us on weekends where we are unexpectadlyslammed. She also stays 12 hours one day a week so we can both work late uninterrupted and stay on top of things in order to have more time with DD during weekend. I have no problem with our nanny running some of her own errands during the day bc I understand she is with my DD all day. She has taken DD to her own doctor appt, to drop her own car off to get serviced, to get groceries, etc. She has prepared food for her own party in our kitchen during naps. Its all fine with me. I like that my DD goes with her bc this is what I would do I was home. Its just part of life.

Honestly, its really hard even with a  great nanny but its doable. We could never survive with daycare. Have a wonderful nanny also reduced the guilt I feel from leaving my DD for so many hours. I accept and support her very strong relationship with nanny. This can get so hard but I do believe its healthier for her to have a strong mother-like connection with nanny rather than deny her that bond by rotating, uninterested daycare workers. She knows I am her mother and we have a wonderful bond but lets face it, nanny is there for her for 11 out of the 12 hours she is awake M-F.

Also,you have to outsource. We get a lot of carryout, do instacart if we need, have a cleaning lady come 1x week.

We pay our nanny $20/hour plus benefits including 3 weeks paid vacation. We also feed her any meal she has at our home meaning we buy enough food for her or once a week she can take DD out to eat. She has use of a credit card for anything she buys for us to DD. I never ever have said anything about small transactions like starbucks which clearly are for her. [/quote]

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