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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She sounds severely mentally ill. Who is helping her get treatment, since you're apparently not up for the task?[/quote]

OP here. I've sought a lot of advice about her over the decades and the concensus -- both from my own therapists and three relatives who are therapists-- is that she has a personality disorder. It's not something you can medicate away like a mood disorder or anxiety. Therapy for these disorders can work eventually if the person really wants it and works hard at. The problem is, people with these disorders, my mother included, think that there is nothing wrong with them. To her, everyone is either an appendage that exists to serve her, the main organism, or an enemy. If you suggest she did something wrong you become the enemy. First she gas lights (person with criticism is very ill, selfish, or deluded). Then she rages. Then she starts rallyimg her flying monkeys - a couple of sycophantic friends and her sister -- to go after the person who crossed her.

This woman has never apologized for anything in her life, nor  admitted even the slightlest imperfection.

When I was a kid my brother tried to kill himself and the doctor recommended family therapy. We all went once. My mother spent the entire session complaining about how her husband and kids were ungrateful, cruel, and more trouble than she could bear. I was ten. Brother was thirteen. My brother actually asked the therapist to take us away from her.

Bottom line,  therapy is for people who want to change. It's for people who want to have decent relationships and be their best selves. It's not for someone who believes that the best change involves bullying others into buying what you're selling. [/quote]

This all sounds so familiar OP.  We have this in our extended family and the affected family members are too much under her spell to get out.  Thank goodness you were able to emerge from that darkness.   [/quote]

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