Reply to is this odd? first time grandparents not spending much time with baby

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "is this odd? first time grandparents not spending much time with baby"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You guys are all very astute. The sib is my brother, and I do know that my parents did go into this not wanting to impose - but still, this seems too far in the other direction.

My SIL is awesome, and she and my parents get along really well. She'd have been clear if she needed space, or didn't want them around too much (she's a good communicator and has clear boundaries) and I am sure she didn't say that to them.

I really don't know what it is. When I spoke with my mom about it, she didn't say that she was trying to give them space, or didn't like the NICU, or anything like that. She just said she was busy.

I don't think my sib and I will be too busy for our parents when they get older and need our help. We are all close, and have good relationships, which is part of why this one thing seems so odd to me.

[/quote]

OP, my parents were like this after my first child was born, too. It was weird to me. It was their first grandchild. I am their oldest child and only daughter and only child who is married or likely to have a family at any point in time so it just seemed strange that they weren't more involved and excited when my child was born. They love my husband like their own son and have a great relationship w/ him. In fact we all just get along really well so I was surprised and hurt with their detachment. My baby is now 1 year old and though we've never explicitly talked about it, I have finally decided that I think a) they genuinely are busy in their own lives (they are very social, involved in the community, always volunteering or going on trips or something) and b) they are not really baby people. Even when they come to visit, they seem happy to be there but are just not that interactive w/ my son (like they don't generally get down on the floor and play w/ him or get involved in his care) and they don't offer to babysit or take him out by themselves or anything. I was upset at first mostly just because I was so confused since I had expected them to be really excited about their first and possibly only grandchild and wanting to be involved in everything but I have accepted it now and just try to focus on and nurture the aspects of my relationship w/ them and their relationship w/ my son that are positive...they may not get down on the floor and play with him but they give him very thoughtful and generous gifts, for example. They may not offer to babysit on their own but if I ask them to, they seem quite happy to do so. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics