Reply to Is it uncomfortable for married women to hang out with divorced women?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you spend a lot of time complaining about your STBXH and re-hashing your divorce proceedings? Or talking about all of the dating you're doing?

I have one friend going through a divorce, and the friend spends every moment we are together discussing STBX, new dating life, and custody battles. I just can't relate to any of this, so it makes it hard to hang out with this friend. I have no idea what to say, and it gets old just listening to someone complain.

I realize that makes me sound like a terrible friend, but no one wants to solely listen to someone trash the person they were married to.[/quote]

I really do agree with this (and I'm a single mom, went thru a divorce 3 years ago).

In other words, some friends and I drifted apart because our dynamic was one of a couple. That  made sense and I wasn't sad to see these relationships fade out, as our socializing was very "couple-ish."

Some of my married friends and I are still very close. But I make a very careful effort NOT to complain about my X or be filled with negative thoughts and energy. We talk about kids, politics, recipes we're trying, school and school problems... It's great but no one (especially someone who is happily married) wants a bellyache of miserable tales of what a jerk and all the terrible things an X is doing...

I've made some great friendships with single moms, but just as my friends don't want to only hear tales of misery and woe, nor do I. I've met some single moms and while I respect their need to vent I've let the relationships fade because the person seems to only want to complain and not discuss anything else.[/quote]

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