Reply to If someone "jokingly" said something sexual to you that was annoying

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[quote=Anonymous]Sad to say, but in my experience, there really is no winning in this scenario. Whether you ignore it, confront him yourself, or tell someone in management or HR, the results will be the same at the end of the day.

Even in a "good" scenario, where management confronts the guy and wants to do the right thing, they usually haven't got a plan for picking up the pieces after they lower the boom. So, unless the transgression was so bad they absolutely have to fire him, the discipline just pisses the guy off and now he wants revenge. Sure, it's also against the rules to retaliate, but now he knows you'll tell and it will get more subtle, closer to gas lighting. Management will move on to other challenges thinking they did the right thing and you'll be the one who will have to figure out how to work with an angry snake. (Or worse, an angry snake + all the friends he's got on his side since he's now the victim of the feminist aggressor who played her woman card against him for some harmless water cooler talk.)

On the other hand, if you don't say anything, he'll just keep upping the ante. Like a pp said, he'll think your lack of a definitive "no" is an invitation. It will get worse, though it can take a bit of time before that happens and in that time you may find a new career opportunity that resolves the problem by getting you out of his reach. OTOH, if you give him a definitive "no" privately and right away, you get right back into that revenge category and he'll start looking for quieter ways to undercut you.

None of these options are happy ones, unfortunately. It's just so crappy.[/quote]

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