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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Imagine[/b] knowing almost nothing about wine and walking into a wine store for the first time. White, red, sparkling? California, Chilean, French, German, Italian, Spanish? Chardonnay or Sauvignon blanc? Merlot or Pinot or burgundy? What the heck is shiraz? $10 or $50? Oh, geez, look at the specialty beers over there. Someone starts trying to help you: Do you like a sweet wine or dry? Something full-bodied? Imagine the look on your face.

Some people know they are headed to the wine store and so they do lots of research before they go. They read up about the different wines and the qualities that differentiate them. They look up expert ratings  and recommendations. They take notes and make lists and even spreadsheets. They go to some wine tastings.

And other people are like: for god's sake just give me a decent bottle and get me the heck out of here.

This is what I think the college search is like. And some kids just want someone to tell them what some decent bottles are.[/quote]

[b]This is really really good advice[/b].[/quote]

? I missed it What is the advice?[/quote]
The advice is to put yourself in their shoes by imagining/remembering how it must feel to be confronted with a big decision, lots of choices, and little information.  Your response as a parent might change.[/quote]

but the kid doesn't want to talk about it. Why do you assume an overabundance of choices is the reason for this?  I doubt that has anything to do with it at all.  Maybe he doesn't even want to buy wine.   (He may not even care if he goes to college)
[/quote]

Do you have a teenager? I think virtually every parent out there would assume their bright, full-IB student **is** going to college. There may be questions about where, when, and how, but it's certainly reasonable to expect college is in the future.

There are lots of reasons why a 16-year-old may be reluctant to engage in discussions about college, but it's simply wrong to assume that a lack of engagement means he's not going to be ready to go to directly to college after high school or to assume that the lack of engagement means lack of interest. Some kids really are overwhelmed or paralyzed by uncertainty; it doesn't mean they aren't ready for college or aren't interested in going. Several parents on this thread have stated that this was the case with their children, and it seems to me that there is no harm in a parent getting the ball rolling. A parent can characterize her efforts as making sure the teen has choices. There is no downside in preparing for the possibility that the kid will be ready to go to college, and if it turns out that, for whatever reason, the kid isn't ready, then the college search work can be set aside, no harm no foul.

To me, it makes sense to start touring some schools and identifying possible safeties/matches/reaches, even if the kid isn't engaged. Make sure you hedge against the possibility that the kid is not ready to go away from home (as opposed to not ready for college) by keeping a GMU or UMDCP or Towson or other local 4-year on the list. And if October/November of senior year rolls around and the kid is still completely disengaged, then you start exploring community college options, gap year(s), military, etc., while also strongly encouraging him to fill out that GMU, etc., application just in case.[/quote]

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