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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, that's nuts. I'm disgusted for you. Question: how did you transition from a "normal" relationship with your mom and visits, etc, to the current one you describe? I want and need to reduce contact but my mom is widowed and out of state and I don't know how I'd get away with it. Did your mom notice? Comment on it? Complain? How did you manage her if she questioned the reduced frequency of your interactions?[/quote]

Yes, she did notice. I just stopped caring about catering to her and focused on my family's needs instead. I wouldn't say we ever had a "normal" relationship, but that visit was very triggering for me overall (including abuse & abandonment issues) and realized that my mother is only happy if she has the stage, if everyone's attention is on her. When we couldn't give her that because we were so overwhelmed, she faked health issues. It would have been laughable in a different context, but one example was "Oh my gosh, I'm dying" type of acute pain for a couple of days that was liver disease... oh, it's a gallbladder attack... oh must be a kidney stone... all of a sudden went away when we said let's go to the doctor now. She retracted all the above, declared it must have been just constipation because all the pain went away when she pooped. :evil:

Not sure I have a good answer for you, I just did it by keeping my distance, not rewarding complaints or comments, and deflecting questions about visits. Not that I'd recommend it, but it's what kept me sane and my family whole.[/quote]

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