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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought about saying something and frankly can't risk the fit (based on past tantrums, or whatever the adult word for a tantrum is) while home alone with my son. When I lightly suggested earlier in the week that she needed to take care of herself while I managed my son and apologized that I couldn't help her more, she lost it and told me how heartless I was and moaned about how she should just die so she wouldn't be a burden.

Good god, as I type this and see it in print and think about the other things she did this week I realize this is so, so not normal.

When DH returns I think there will be a dramatic recovery and display of helpfulness/reluctance to put him out. Should be fun. [/quote]

I'm 18:14. I think PP may have it right, and your mother has untreated anxiety. This is what my mother has, and it routinely makes her grow very verbally abusive and non-functional. My friend's spouse has anxiety and it makes him have rage tantrums, in public and private. Anxiety is a terrible thing. 
[b]
My solution has been to limit contact, honestly. [/b]My mother has a horror of doctors, and would deny to her dying day that she has anything of a diagnosable nature.

[/quote]
+1
My mother feigned several health issues when she was with us for an extended visit. I was in the middle of two crises (she was here when DC was diagnosed with autism WHILE I was on bed rest - complicated pregnancy) It disgusted me so much that she couldn't even hold it together without faking illnesses while we were going through such crises as a family, that I haven't seen her since. Rare, perfunctory Skype calls so she can see my kids. That's all.[/quote]

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