Reply to Afraid to allow 11 DD back to new friend's house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Trust your gut. I grew up in a rural, working-class part of the NE. People like you describe -- while they can be nice and friendly -- are disorganized and have trash everywhere for a reason. Usually drug abuse.[/quote]

I wouldn't argue with trusting your gut, but I'd definitely say that untreated and/or unacknowledged depression would be a much more common cause than drug abuse. And that doesn't mean it would be an unsafe environment, but the advice below is a great way to proceed. A typical child of this age can make choices and give you feedback to guide the process.

[quote=Anonymous]
I would let the friendship grow gradually. Invite the girl over. Have her mom stop in when she drops her off or picks her up and get to know her. Ask your daughter about the dad and/or brother. Are they nice? Does she see them when she's over there, etc.

I've had my "spidey senses" set off at different times - even at upper-middle class homes. I don't think my gut has necessarily been right, as from what I understand, molesters are often those you least expect - the ones that don't set off your "spidey senses." I just think it means we're more aware of what "could" happen and people who are different from us trigger our senses more. [/quote]

Yes to both paragraphs.[/quote]

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