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[quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago. We moved from the DC area to a more rural place. We live in the big town, but one of my daughter's friends (at the time also about 11 years old) lived in the rural outskirts. The first time I dropped my daughter off, I almost died. Their driveway was gravel, there was a rusting mobile home on their property, and the small, old house was out in the boonies. Oh, and I had met the mom at back-to-school night, and she mentioned that she was a single mom when she had her daughter (at age 20).

Their background was so different from mine, that I admit I was a bit nervous about leaving my daughter there. And I only let her have a sleepover there when I knew the stepdad was out of town. It is now 3 years later, and the girls are still good friends. The mom is perfectly nice who comes from a very different background from me. Her stepdad is pleasant, too.

I would let the friendship grow gradually. Invite the girl over. Have her mom stop in when she drops her off or picks her up and get to know her. Ask your daughter about the dad and/or brother. Are they nice? Does she see them when she's over there, etc.

I've had my "spidey senses" set off at different times - even at upper-middle class homes. I don't think my gut has necessarily been right, as from what I understand, molesters are often those you least expect - the ones that don't set off your "spidey senses." I just think it means we're more aware of what "could" happen and people who are different from us trigger our senses more.

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