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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all so much. I have been able to gather a lot of resources for myself and DH and our daughter from the links you provided. I called all the sites that had hotlines and talked this through. I also called the two safe houses in her city and was very impressed with what they offered and I shared this with my daughter. She is not ready to explore a protection order against him. It will be a process of 'deprogramming' the very negative messages that the abuser has given her. She feels he has his problems and she has her problems, and she should not judge him (?). She said that she knows she is a "handful" to deal with and there are very few guys who would deal with her. I am certain these statements are from him, and she has taken these things to heart. He is moving out of state in a couple days and not returning, she says. His mom is there packing him up now. We have alerted the college about this (again), with more detail, so campus security is following. He is not a student and had no reason to be on campus. I think deep down our daughter appreciates that others are watching for her, even though she defends him. I do not think she has seen him since my last post. I cannot be sure. My heart breaks, but I am so glad she tells me (at least a little) of what's happening, as I can't help if I don't know.

Thank you all for your caring comments and support. This is a parent's worst nightmare, but it is even worse for our daughter who is living it. I feel more hopeful now than I did before. There ARE a lot of resources out there for young women in this situation, and I had no idea. My daughter did not know either. We are better equipped going forward, and we don't feel alone. 
[/quote]

PP. I can tell you are a good mother who is trying to do the right thing but you are delusional. She is not capable of 'deprogramming' herself while she is with him, away from family on campus and with a history of neglect and abuse. She needs you to and DH to step up as parents and protect her. Maybe she will 'hate' you but thats ok...bc she will be alive. If she gets into a good therapy program she will hopefully be able to come out on the other end. Otherwise its going to be endless cycle of abuse for her and her children.

Step up mom! Get your baby!![/quote]

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