Reply to My child tells me he hates me daily

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "My child tells me he hates me daily "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some times multiple times. 13 . We are good parents and kind, loving people.  It's horrible. [/quote]

It depends on why he is doing it OP--do you have other behavior problems, when did this start, and what is his general emotional state?

A lot of the "punishers" may have kids who don't have functioning issues. The kid tried out something new with mom, dad took him down some pegs, and everyone cheers. I'm cheering too, if the kid learned his lesson and is generally adaptive. I think letting a flexible, well functioning kid get away with that is bad parenting.

Unfortunately, for many kids who say "I hate you" on a regular basis, it's the tip of the iceberg. If the "I hate you" response to frustration isn't the biggest problem you're dealing with, then you need to start with the biggest problem...  because that's what is causing the issue. Getting bent out of shape over "I hate you" when a kid may be depressed, anxious, have other major problems with self control (ADHD/ oppositional defiance) is going to escalate your issue. [/quote]

This is the best response of the bunch OP.  My kid has anxiety and OCD and of course I don't want to be called names or told that I'm hated, but it's awfully high and mighty of parents to say they are doing some exceptional parenting job because their kids don't.  Calling the kid out for being disrespectful is fine and good, but there is often more going on with the kid and just because he/she continues to be disrespectful doesn't make you a less competent parent.  Some parents think they are hot stuff, but the reality may be that they just got lucky with kids who can take the unilateral discipline.  Not all can.[/quote]

Yes, but because OP posted in "Teens and Tweens" forum, not "Special Needs," it is fair to make an assumption that the child is "flexible, well functioning" kid, not a clinically depressed, traumatized, special needs, anxious, or OCD kid. OP did not mention any of these variables that would have painted a different scenario. Too often I see posts that address normal parenting issues that apply to normal parents with normal kids in a very out of the ordinary way, because a child of that commenting poster has some SN, LD, psychological trauma, is delayed, etc. Well, the original post does not apply to those children. So, again, unless there are other variables that would take this teen out of the spectrum of "normal," there is no other conclusion than that the child is just disrespectful to her mother and gets away with it. This would not fly in my house.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics