Reply to My child tells me he hates me daily

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some times multiple times. 13 . We are good parents and kind, loving people.  It's horrible. [/quote]

It depends on why he is doing it OP--do you have other behavior problems, when did this start, and what is his general emotional state?

A lot of the "punishers" may have kids who don't have functioning issues. The kid tried out something new with mom, dad took him down some pegs, and everyone cheers. I'm cheering too, if the kid learned his lesson and is generally adaptive. I think letting a flexible, well functioning kid get away with that is bad parenting.

Unfortunately, for many kids who say "I hate you" on a regular basis, it's the tip of the iceberg. If the "I hate you" response to frustration isn't the biggest problem you're dealing with, then you need to start with the biggest problem...  because that's what is causing the issue. Getting bent out of shape over "I hate you" when a kid may be depressed, anxious, have other major problems with self control (ADHD/ oppositional defiance) is going to escalate your issue. [/quote]

This is the best response of the bunch OP.  My kid has anxiety and OCD and of course I don't want to be called names or told that I'm hated, but it's awfully high and mighty of parents to say they are doing some exceptional parenting job because their kids don't.  Calling the kid out for being disrespectful is fine and good, but there is often more going on with the kid and just because he/she continues to be disrespectful doesn't make you a less competent parent.  Some parents think they are hot stuff, but the reality may be that they just got lucky with kids who can take the unilateral discipline.  Not all can.[/quote]

I'm the single parent PP who said I don't put up with disrespect. I guess I assumed we were talking about "regular" kids, not kids with huge issues. OP and others act like all teens are going to be crazy like that, so I assumed that was what we were discussing. I'm not hot stuff -- but I do see parents letting their kids get away with murder around here and not correcting them because "it's normal for their age."[/quote]

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