Reply to How would you feel about "friends" who haven't contact you while you are separated?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=TwistdMike]I have some very close friends who chose to side with the ExW after the separation/divorce. However, after some time, they saw through her BS and victimization stories.

After some time, they called me to arrange a dinner meeting to see how I had been doing and to catch up. Once We had had a few drinks and passed the pleasantries, they both apologized profusely for choosing her side and then began telling me stories of things she said or did after the separation. It was very entertaining to see them come to the realization of what I already knew and understood.

To this day, we remain very close. The wife of the friend couple will still occasionally tell some new story of the ExW which she hears from mutual friends. Each new story I hear makes me appreciate her being my ExW...[/quote]

This +1!

My ExW has BPD and when we split, she proceeded to tell the world a series of lies in addition to the lies that she had propounded during the course of 20 years.  Most friends chose her.  I suppose rightfully so, since they were friends she deemed acceptable (not uncommon with BPDs).  Within a few months of our separation, all of those friends reached out to me after having been lied to again repeatedly by ExW.  At the end of the day, they all apologized to me, and basically wrote her off.  And, again typically for a BPD, she has destroyed every single relationship she has ever had.  Every one, other than her mother.  Her entire family, every friend from growing up, college, grad school, life in general.

What is sad is that it didn't need to end like that.  But she declared herself "cured" and stopped therapy and over a few years, decompensated and became worse than she ever was.  When she is on, she is an awesome person.  That is just very, very infrequent.[/quote]

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