Reply to Stepdaughter invited me to a Mother/Daughter event instead of her mom

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Reply to "Stepdaughter invited me to a Mother/Daughter event instead of her mom"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To me, it really depends on if she maintains a relationship with both her mother and you.  If she is starting to prefer you, the SM, over her mother and generally finding more excuses to spend time with you and less time with her bio-mom, then I agree you need to nip it in the bud and have a general conversation with her about making sure that she maintains a healthy relationship with her mother.  If she already has a healthy relationship with her mother and includes her in other aspects of her (the daughter's) life, then it's fine for her to choose which mom (bio vs step) to bring to a specific event.  Perhaps consider that DD should have some other special time set aside to spend with her mother around the same time or some other event that either mother or daughter wants to go to that she asks mom to do.

[b]One thing I think that divorced parents need to remember is that due to their marriage failing, you've created the situation where your children belong to two households.  The children should have some choice in how they adjust to the situation created by the parents.  They children did not create the situation, they are trying to grow up in a situation different from many of their friends and this may be one coping mechanism for them, the ability to choose which side of the family, or which face to show.  She can't or doesn't want to bring both mothers, so she chose one. [/b] As long as she makes opportunities to spend time with both mothers, I don't think it's right that you force her to always invite one or other other to events in her life.  To me, this is similar to a parent with two children who have different activities at the same time.  You can't go to both, so you have to make a decision which one to go to.  As long as you don't always favor the same child, you can decide which event to go to for whatever reasoning you want.[/quote]

I never thought about it this way![/quote]

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