Reply to Dreamed my father died last night. I'm estranged from him...I need some DCUM therapy.

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Reply to "Dreamed my father died last night. I'm estranged from him...I need some DCUM therapy."

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what is your father's relationship like with your brother's children?  Is he a good grandfather?  Is he toxic in any way, either to them or to your brother?

I'm wondering if maybe you might find a middle way that would alleviate any guilt you have (though undeserved!) and give you peace, but with little risk to your own well being.

If your father has shown himself to be a responsible and loving grandfather to your nieces and nephews, and given that your daughter has expressed interest in a relationship with him, could you facilitate a relationship between your daughter and father?  You could do so without any contact on your part.  She could just accompany her cousins on outings, etc., and you wouldn't have to see hm at all.

Just a thought.  When faced with a difficult, emotional situation, sometimes we trap ourselves into thinking we have to decide between all of A or all of B, when really there are more limited options that will best meet our needs.

I think it is totally legit to prioritize your own emotional wellbeing above all else, and do so with NO GUILT.  That should be the bottom line, regardless of how you proceed,

Best wishes, OP.[/quote]

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