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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as someone who comes from a Muslim background, your action and impulse to basically tattletale your adult sister to your parents, is a big part of the reason I've detached from those cultural roots. I can't stand not feeling like I'm allowed to live my own life.

You should not have to cover for your sister. But there is no need to tattle on your sister - which comes off as a kind of jealousy (especially coupled with your previous post/question)

Let your sister explore her own options. If your parents ask, keep quite and tell them to talk to your sister themselves. It's not your business. [/quote]

NP here.

I'm not sure that OP's telling the parents to deal with sister themselves is going to work here. Won't the parents take it out on Older Sister if she doesn't rat out Younger Sister and the parents later find out that the elder did know (or at least suspect) what was going on? I think from OP's post here and her earlier post about her sister, these parents might just make things very hard for the OP if she doesn't do her cultural duty and tell on her sister. Not saying she should do so -- in fact, I'm with those posting that OP needs to tell her parents point-blank that they need to communicate about her sister WITH her sister, and not with her, at all.

But I can see the parents in this case threatening to yank money or support from OP if she doesn't fulfill what seems to be the expected role of overseeing younger sister. OP did say that's exactly why the parents sent them both here together, after all--to keep an eye on each other.

OP: Do your parents ever threaten to withdraw support from you if you don't "do a good enough job" keeping your sister behaving as they see fit? Do you feel able to tell them what we're saying here -- "From now on, you need to contact her and I will not be responsible for her behavior because she is an adult" -- or do you think that doing so will cause them to turn on you and blame you for whatever she does? Or even cause them to reel you both in and force you back home?

I hope you can use the distance from home to break away from what sound like some very crippling expectations about your role in relation to your sister. [/quote]

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