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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex-DH.  It was a significant problem in our relationship.  He believes that he has a monopoly on reason and being right, really can't understand others' perspectives.  My needs were only legitimate to the extent he could directly relate.  If he deemed a request or need as something he didn't approve of, I was out of luck.  He has lots of emotions but difficulty processing them.  Emotionally he's a child only will never grow up.  The bottom line is that it's a lot like living with [b]a total narcissist[/b].  This became especially apparent after we had children.[/quote]

Could you explain the difference between Narcissist and Aspergers? I am genuinely curious - dealing with someone who I strongly believe has NPD but I also have found resources on Aspergers that indicate the same thing.[/quote]

I'm the person you quoted.  In the end, Asperger's can present essentially like narcissism.  It's not as manipulative, doesn't involve lying, and doesn't have the same cause, but at the end of the day you are with someone who does not value the views of others.  There is little room for compromise and the person has to have his way because it is the only rational, acceptable way.  Doing anything less that what he thinks is right is painful and unacceptable to him.  That means that in all our major life decisions, his opinion mattered most.  When we had children, it was amazing how he could rationalize putting his needs above that of an infant--but he did.

Ex-DH was incapable of lying, and he was a very hard-working person (well, workaholic).  He didn't cut corners.  I knew where I stood with him.  He was dedicated to me and the family in his own way, but it was on his terms entirely.  If something was important to me but not to him, it didn't stand a chance.  When I decided to divorce, our joint marital counselor told me to watch out for DH b/c although he's Asperger's and not a true narcissist, in effect it would be like the same thing.  It was.   He was rigid, thought he was all knowing, not open to compromise, focused on his own needs above the kids'.[/quote]

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