Reply to Another holiday with Step-families and it's just the worst... either stay married or don't remarry!

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Reply to "Another holiday with Step-families and it's just the worst... either stay married or don't remarry!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I hear what you are saying but I want to see my parents and my actual siblings and this is not possible due to the decisions my parents have made.  If I plan a holiday gathering and only include my brother and not my hordes of stepsiblings I will offend my dad.  I don't want to do that so I suck it up and include everyone and I just feel like it's annoying that I am forced to do this and end up spending all of my holidays with people I don't really want to.  It's crappy that my only option is for my kids to have to forego their grandparents and actual uncle for a holiday if I go this route.

For me, I am hyper focused on not getting divorced in I think perhaps a different way that someone with an intact set of grandparents.[/quote]
Child of divorce here -- and I'm not trying to be mean, but it sounds like you need to concentrate less on the divorce. The divorce and re-marriages were a long time ago, you cannot change that. You need to put your focus on building relationships. Seriously,  you will end up burning all your bridges and have no familial relationships because you want to be able to just have relationships with and have your kids have relationships with your 'blood' relatives. It does not sound like you gave any of your step family a fighting chance to have a decent relationship with you and your family.You have not mentioned anything they have done, other than exist, to explain why you do not want to be bothered with them. Have they in any way been mean, disrespectful, distasteful and inappropriate? Concentrate and how you can make this work and not how you can just avoid the whole lot of them. It will save you a lot of stress in the long run. [/quote]

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