Reply to When does picky eating become abnormal or a eating disorder? 13yo

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as your are the step mom you know your role in this is difficult.   I have some practice suggestions for you that you can try.

1.   Reduce pressure surrounding eating, if you haven't already.   Don't see your role as needing to fix your stepson's eating.

2.   Serve all food family style at the table.  Don't give Stepson a separate plate with separate food.   Put all the food in serving bowls on the table at the same time and everyone help themselves to what and how much they want.   If you and your husband are having salmon teriyaki with sauteed bok choi, and you know your stepson won't eat that so you make him some chicken nuggets and green beans instead -- put it ALL out on serving plates.   Dinner is now salmon, bok choi, chicken nuggets, and green beans for everyone (even though actually you know you and your husband aren't eating the chicken nuggets ---)   This is psychologically very important for selective eaters.   They aren't eating a separate meal.  The family meal just includes foods that they can eat and they are a part of it.

3.  teach him not to say I like this, I hate that.   But to rank food on a scale of 1- 10.    If he tries a new food and it isn't great (not an 8,9 or 10) but it might be a 6 or a 7 -- that's important to know.

4. Have him identify sensory characteristics of the foods he likes and doesn't like.   "This broccoli is a 6 because it is too crunchy" -- then you know he might say it is a 7 or 8 if it is cooked a little longer.   Instead of saying "I don't like it, it is too salty" have him identify the rating on a scale and what characteristics could be changed.   This helps him step out of the habit of seeing all food as black and white -- and how he can change things about the food to make it more palatable.

5.  If you are trying to introduce a new food, stick with food he already likes, and offer both types.   Here are some chicken nuggets from the box, and here on this equally attractive plate are a different version of chicken nuggets (different brand, different restaurant, same brand but different breading, homemade etc.)   Don't spring a new version of a safe food on him without the old version being there too.   Ask him to rate both on a scale of 1 to 10 and to identify sensory characteristics of both foods and what makes on a 9 and one a 7.

6.   Once pressure to eat has been reduced you will probably find him very willing to try a single bite of new foods, if you present them this way.   So present new versions of food often, with every meal!  But always be sure he knows he doesn't have to try anything he doesn't want.   Kids at this age are cognitively different from toddlers and they can make rapid introductions of new food IF they buy into the process.   They are getting tired of eating the same foods and they WANT to eat like other kids, they are just scared and the food tastes bad to them.   And if they smell pressure they will dig in and resist.

good luck![/quote]

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