Reply to I think my DD's teacher is gaslighting her....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Sounds like your DD needs a neuropsych evaluation for ADHD.  [/b]Better to find out what the issue is in third grade and get her supports like a 504 now rather than later.

Agree with PP about going to Stixrud.  I would not bother with a developmental pediatrician for a 8/9 yo but just go directly to a neuropsych eval and get her some help.

Teachers are not always "tactful" when telling a parent that their child may have issues.  Better to listen to the message about getting your child help than to get offended.  Not sure there is a nice way of telling a parent this.[/quote]

Not necessarily.  Since the teacher has such a back handed approach with what the issue is, it may be that she is a control freak [b]who is really bothered by the kid who needs prompts. [/b] If OP's DD is ADHD, she's signs of it well b/f now both at school and home.  OP, focus on teaching your kid organizational skills.  Work with the teacher to set goals that based on behavior, not "feelings."  Then make the decision about the necessity of an evaluation.[/quote]

This is third grade not preschool and by third grade, the kid shouldn't need prompts (all the time) to start a task, stay on task and finish the class assignment during class.  Get some help now because the grade level expectations are only going to increase.[/quote]

OP here. I do agree with this. At this point my concerns have been raised to a level that I feel we must rule out a diagnosis or get more formal help if she is formally diagnosed. I am still bothered by the discrepancy in how my DD reports her day and how the teacher relates to her. I happen to know that another child in this same class, an equally bright boy with no behavior issues was described to the parent as "frustrating" to teach. So I do know that although DD may indeed have issues they have definitely been aggravated by whatever is going on in the classroom this year. The one positive, and it is a big one (really maybe the most important) is that my DD still loves school. And I have to give credit to the teacher in ways for that as well. This teacher I believe is trying to be compassionate.

Anyway would someone please give recommendations for neuropsych in Mont co? I will search the archive but if anyone reads this and has a great recommendation I would really be grateful.[/quote]

You describe a situation really similar to the one we faced this year with a teacher.  I really regret not facing it head-on sooner, but in a non-confrontational way.  Describe the reasons that her communications are concerning, but at the same time, make clear that you are working with her as part of a team.  Sometimes I think that there are people (including teachers) who just don't get why labeling someone as "frustrating" or "stressed" is counterproductive.  I think these teachers may not understand that they are in a position of trust and authority, and as such, their labeling can really have a big psychological impact on kids and teachers.  At the same time they may have their very strong points as teachers.  So I'd say the sooner you can have a good, friendly conversation with her about this, the better.

Another thing I really didn't understand is how little support teachers have in this area.  I just assumed they'd have training in how to deal with kids who had emerging learning or behavioral issues, and that there were readily accessible forms of classroom support for them short of going the full-on IEP route (which could take the whole school year anyway!)  What I learned is that teachers may just be going it alone, worried about your kid and 25 others, but with few resources to deal with it. So the more you can communicate that you understand this, and put resources into place yourself, the better.  [/quote]

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