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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My elderly mother insists on moving across country away from us. I am her only child and mother to her only elementary aged grandchild. She is single (divorce) for many years. I really can't understand why she is doing this. I will be unable to fly out at a moments notice should she become ill or injured. I have no Emergency funds and not to mention a child who would need to be watched.
I've tried to convince her to move here but she claims her pension will be taxed. When I offer to have her only pay for her Grover IRS [b]in exchange for watching my kid[/b] ( I pay mortgage light etc) she falls back on the taxes. I'm pretty positive she doesn't like me but I know she loves her grandchild.[/quote]

Parents are resposbile for figuring out the caring of their children.  Grandparents are not. [/quote]

What are you prattling on about? I do not need her to watch my child. I just can't leave my child alone to care for her. [/quote]

Reread your orignial post. Where is the grandchild's father in all of this? [/quote]

Sorry- I thought I mentioned I am a single mom. All we have is each other. My mom, grandkids, and me. That is it. No other grandparents, siblings kids, etc...

I can't force her to move with me I understand. What I don't understand is why she would want to move so far away but then call every time she has a problem. It just makes me helpless. Since I do have a child I won't be able drop everything and get to her. If she were to stay where she is or move wih in a 1/2 days drive that would be one thing. But this is a 1/2 day flight. And her health is not improving. I know there is nothing I can do and maybe she just doesn't want to be around us. But it seems like she doesn't get the fact that she is getting older and will need our (child and my) help. [/quote]

You may have mentioned a single mom, but the single mom whose child has absolutely no interaction with their father is not the norm.  I thought that perhaps the father could watch your child if you went to visit your mother.

When your mom calls from afar with a problem, listen and give empathy.  Do not offer to help; do not say 'I told you so",try not to feel guilty.

Several PP (including myself) have asked you how old your mother is and you refuse to answer.  Based on the fact that you said she has a pension, I would say she is between 55 and 65.  If so, that is not elderly.  If she were over 75 and moving, then I would have more concerns.  Either he way she is an adult with no minor children and can choose what she wants to do and where she wants to do it.  [/quote]

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