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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - You and DH might benefit from a one-time, fee-based financial advisor for whom you would provide a lot of information ahead of or for the initial meeting in terms of your present financial situation with income, loans and expenses and your future goals with retirement planning for you two first goal, college planning for your children second goal and go from there.  I think the question of what your household income is now and what it might be in the future if one of you is not working full-time or were to get a bit more training in one's field of choice.  An impartial financial advisor who is not selling any products and earning a commission might help you both clarify what a reasonable approach to college might be for your four children.

I do think that having the expectation that each child will work at least during the summer and on weekends if a part-time job is possible is reasonable, and it will help each to be more responsible if they "have skin in the game," too.  Encouraging them to get certified in CPR/First Aid, swimming and life guarding are all ways to earn a reasonable amount of money part-time.  I would be more inclined to discuss the idea of the community college route for even the first year if you have a teen who is uncertain about what he or she wants to do in college or to be flexible and to suggest a year working with maybe a couple of community college classes.  Why - because in your particular situation there is not going to extra money to just "dabble at college."

Also be cautious in encouraging your kids to take on extra debt for undergraduate education which might be held in check by doing ROTC, community college for one or two years and/or an in-state school.  If there is the option, encourage them to take AP classes or dual enrollment classes to start college with credits in hand. These credits may well mean that a student in college might be able to work say 20 hours a week or so to afford a summer or semester abroad experience as I did while in college or might be able to take a less than full-load and be at college with peers, but paying a lot less for tuition for a semester as a student who I know is doing now.  Also, in her case with the extra credits, she is able as a junior to get in her 500 hours of observation needed to apply to vet school.  You need to set the expectation that college is not going to be a free ride nor simply a "fun four years" but a wonderful opportunity that you would like to help each teen pursue - without going bankrupt or loading them down with unnecessary debt, too.

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