Reply to Just curious-- MILs: what do you wish your DIL knew?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've told my son from day 1 to choose a woman who's kind to him, and that he makes sure he is kind to her.  Looks, religion, income, hobbies -- none of that matters to me.  I don't expect to be my DIL's best friend, but I do expect we will be polite and friendly to one another.  If it's closer than that, great.  He seems to have picked someone who is kind.   So I'm happy.

I have also told my son that I love to be his confidante and help him through problems.  HOWEVER, he needs to be careful complaining about his fiancee/wife. (He doesn't, but I'm talking about the future).  [b]Because I will naturally want to take his side.[/b]  Hopefully there will never be anything difficult or hard to get over, but I told him he should find another confidante for sharing any marital problems.

On the selfish side of things, I would like to be a fairly regular part of my son's life.  We used to always go to my mom's house for Sunday night dinner.  I'd like something similar.  Doesn't have to be weekly.  (They are local).   I would like to babysit when they have kids.  Give them a night out here or there.  Or a weekend alone.    I'll dog sit too.   Invite me to the kids' events.  School concerts, basketball games, those types of things.     That's not "every" game or concert, but a few here and there.  [/quote]

Consider taking her side.  I loved my MIL - I am the OP of the 'missing my MIL' thread.  And among the wonderful things she did was take my side on classic marital stuff.  She knew I loved her son, so if she saw him acting like a male idiot or I complained about it she would call him on it.  She always acted like she gained me rather than losing him, and I felt that. And in turn I have treated my husband's family like my own, and I know my MIL appreciated that.[/quote]

This is good advice.  My mother pretty much ALWAYS takes my DH's side.  She'll encourage me to be more forgiving or point out that what I'm complaining about is a petty squabble.  She normally turns it on me to try to make ME be nicer to HIM.  It's annoying, but also really sweet.  She adores him!  And she doesn't want me to eff it up haha.  When we are together, she dotes on him or asks me to.  Like "oh sweetie, make your DH a sandwich, he looks hungry!" which gets a steely stare from me.  DH loves it.  [/quote]

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