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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- if those who have kids and left are still following- how did they take the divorce initially and how are they now?  [/quote]

My kids are 10 and 13.  I left in September 2014.  The first school year was a little rough for the younger one, but frankly it was very rough for her, too, before I left.  Over the summer, it was like someone flipped a switch and she was a enw kid.  She restarted the activities she quit and her grades in school are very high.  The older one has been rock steady through out.  They were very matter of fact about the whole thing and seemed excited about Mommy's new apartment.  They asked for one change to the custody schedule to have a week on week off schedule so they didn't have to move during the school week.  Otherwise, no drama.  They only seem to get upset when I cry, so I try not to.  We do talk about it and how to pick a good husband/boyfriend, but I do not trash my ex.  And then there is this gem I say that I got from an energy healer:  I know sometimes kids whose parents split up may feel a bit torn in half because their parents split up, but when I look at you, I see the parts of Daddy I love.  And I tell them that I love them, he loves them, we still love each other but can't be married to each other, and that they are safe and loved every chance I  get.  And that we are not a broken family - that they were very much wanted and are very much loved, and our family is different but not broken. I still keep my bridal portrait (of just me) up and they have some pictures of their father in their rooms.

I save the can you believe the abusive a-hole did this rants for certain friends and try to go there as little as possible.  It isn't always easy but it is the right thing for everyone's mental health to spend as little time in that head space as possible.[/quote]

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