Reply to Please help...DH and I have fundamentally different views on what makes us happy

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Reply to "Please help...DH and I have fundamentally different views on what makes us happy"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH is not close to his family.  His whole life is about adventure.  This is his second marriage.  He has two teens who are raised by their mother. He sees them 2x per year bc we live halfway across the world.  Happiness for him is globetrotting, eating exotic food, drinking, meeting new people. He is 44. He has the energy of a 25 year old.

Happiness for me is being surrounded by family.  We have a toddler son (12 months old). Happiness for me is moving back to my hometown to raise my boy with his two cousins who are of similar age, and his grandparents.  I like to travel too, but I don't want an on the go lifestyle.  I want to take a few awesome trips per year. I don't need to live the adventure.

So, I'm the stick in the mud, he's the wild and crazy. How do we reconcile and plan a future together? Help![/quote]

People who sing the "why did you marry him" tune are exceptionally unhelpful.

OP.  Have you two ever discussed what you, separately and collectively, want? What sort of life does he, and you, imagine for your now-family?  Has he articulated how he plans to integrate you and the baby into his globetrotting? Does his vision make sense?  If you haven't ever discussed it, why not have the conversation now? Just talk about how you see yourselves and what makes you happy.  There are other options in life besides globetrotting OR living in your hometown.  You two may come up with something that will be a happy medium. Does he know how you feel? Does it matter  to him?[/quote]

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