Reply to DH friendships with women - what's your comfort level

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I agree with 10:13 - there is some "hit" or validation that DH is getting from these friendships that he clearly isn't getting at home from me. And that makes me so sad. That's the conversation I really want to have with him. 
[/quote]

then this is the conversation you have. start here. you might not like what you hear, but at least you wont' be dancing around the issue.

Also, I detect some sense in your posts that you are almost more afraid of being seen as "needy" than you are of your husband engaging in an inappropriate relationship. You shouldn't be. It is good to build healthy boundaries around your marriage and to be able to say 'Hey, this is not sitting right with me."[/quote]

Yes. I am most afraid of looking needy and demanding to DH. I feel like the "right" thing to do or the "awesome wife" thing to do is to be totally cool with these friendships and support his ability to maintain a fun social life even as first time parents. but instead i am the bad/demanding/paranoid/wetblanket wife who wants to limit him. [/quote]

You know from an outside perspective this sounds insane, right? He is doing something wrong and somehow has you feeling guilty for it?   He is hanging out with twenty year old girls while you are home with his child.  How on earth are you feeling like YOU are doing something wrong here?[/quote]

THIS!!! I'm so sorry OP, when I read your original post I wasn't even sure you were serious. His behavior is absolutely not okay. It is not appropriate for a married man to be striking up "friendships" with much younger women, period. Can't he find young 20-something boys to relive his glory days with?

How awful for you that you feel he'll make you out to be some uptight shrew of a wife! He knows what he is doing is inappropriate and he's acting defensive because of it. Would it be possible for another mutual friend (preferably male) to point this out to him? Either way, this behavior needs to stop before temptation takes over..[/quote]

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