Reply to Conflicting family weddings question

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Conflicting family weddings question "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother and DH's cousin are both getting married on the same weekend, 3000 miles apart.  Clearly the kids and I are going to my brother's wedding. Where should DH go? He and his cousin were really close growing up but don't talk that much now. DH is happy to do whatever I ask; I want to make sure I'm not being unreasonable asking him to come to my brother's wedding.[/quote]

Few things first,

1. Not talking much does not mean not important.  My cousin and I don't talk much due to where we live and lifestyle.  We are  lucky if we get each other on the phone once a month, but you best believe we were at each others weddings.

[b]2.  This is probably just my projection, but it stood out to me that your husband left the choice up to you. Why is that? Is he expecting  a huge negative fall out/argument with you?  Will he use this against you at a later time?[/b]

3. Is it absolutely  impossible for both to happen meaning SH goes to his cousins  wedding and then flies solo to meet up with you and the kids.  In my experience  the groom's bi; from his sister and his cousin do very little.

Ultimately neither choice is unreasonable. I think it would be perfectly fine for  you to go to divide and conquer , and it would be perfectly fine for you to  ask him to come to your brother's wedding.[/quote]

This may just be because he thinks the deciding factor is his wife's opinion. As many have stated either option could be reasonable depending on the specific family dynamics.  In my family you better believe DH would go to my brother's wedding.  My brother might not care but it would matter a lot *to me* to have him there.[/quote]

It's fine if he thinks that, but OP didn't say so which leads me to think otherwise. It's not just about you and your wants when you get married. Something many wives hear fail to  understand  your husbands wants and feelings matter too.[/quote]

Of course it's not just about one persons wants, but we also frequently make weighted decisions, i.e. the husband here might prefer to go to his cousins wedding if only thinking about his own wants, but is willing to defer to his wife / her wants because her relationship to her brother / nuclear family might be even stronger. And I would say the same thing if the roles were reversed. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics