Reply to Being a Woman, Manager, and My Tone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been called out by a subordinate with my tone. He didn't like the way I seemed hostile and "sounded like I was telling [him] what to do." He noted that my hostility was not in my words or my volume but rather my tone. It boiled down to him not liking the fact that I used an imperative sentence on an already late deliverable ("Please send me the report."), and he'd prefer me to ask a question (" Did you have time to look at the report?" with the implication that he will send it to me). I prefer a more direct way or communicating.

Based on past experiences, I don't think he would ask a male supervisor to change his"tone". Are we just a bad fit? What do you suggest?[/quote]

I wouldn't even go down the male/female path.
Deal with the issue he has brought up with you directly and leave your thoughts on the "why" out of it.

I would initiate a discussion with him saying you have thought about his request, and regarding this specific issue
1. The deliverable was late
2. The deliverable was his sole responsibility 
And therefore your request was a reminder of his basic and essential job duty, which you shouldn't actually have had to remind him to do. See points 1 and 2

I am a woman FWIW and could almost see his point is it were something 
 not in his job description or unclear on the task and timing but your post indicates otherwise.

Also, I do think that it will undermine you and being up unnecessary details to make this a man/woman thing. Just my 2 cents. I wouldn't even reduce myself to having a discussion about that.[/quote]

I like this suggestion best. I am not a fan of being told to do something just because you say so... But then again I don't pose as a headache by being late on projects with higher ups.[/quote]

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