Reply to Does your DH ever play with the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't want to stereotype, but I've seen it often enough: many men just aren't that into babies. Once the kid hits 2 they are much more engaged. Sad, and stupid, but true.[/quote]

This is such a double standard. I felt the same way--taking care of DS when he was a baby was drudgery. Of course I loved him, but I was not into it at all. Once he was over 2 I felt much more engaged. Same for my husband, but I was never given the luxury of just deciding I wanted to check out until DS turned 2 like my husband did. I was (and still am) the default parent, but it's so much better now that DS is 4.  DH is also much better about playing with DS now, but just could not figure out how to play with him before 2yo. Since I didn't have a choice, I figured it out as I went along. It wasn't rocket science.

Yes, I did try to explain how I felt to DH many times, but to no avail. [/quote]

THANK YOU!  I came here just to post this!

Look at these BS posts on this thread "oh, maybe he'll do better when they're 2 (um, OP's older kid is 3!)" "Some men just don't get in to kids until they're 5 and can play board games," "Maybe when they're 10 and play sports..."  Other threads give men a pass through the newborn stage or "until they're walking" or whatever-- we see the truth here.  (Sure, some men really DO become much better after X age, but the point is that women are generally expected to suck it up no matter what.)

When does it end?!

I'm "lucky" that my DH is amazing with my DC, now 3.  Not only does he play with or care for her (cooks all of us a real breakfast every morning) just about every chance he gets, but he constantly whines he doesn't get enough time with her, and genuinely tells her he misses her every day. And he works 40 hours/week, and I am only nominally a WAHM. Since I am still working on the whole WAHM thing, he gets her ALONE 2 hours every morning and about 2 hours every evening (more on Thursdays because I have a class).   Plus probably 5 more hours on the weekends, plus he fully shares parent duty and playtime the rest of the weekend.

Before we had one, my DH loved little kids (maybe 2 or 3 to 8 or 9), but wasn't that "in to" babies. So what? He adapted. He's great now, of course, and I know I'll hit my real stride when my DC is like 8 or 10-- which is great, because tweens and teens are not DH's wheelhouse. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.  We each adapted and will continue to adapt and COME THE EFF ON, PEOPLE. I am not nearly as good with kids who can't hold a conversation, which DC has just really started to do in the last 6 months. But did I pawn her off until she got "interesting?" What a load of BS.  [/quote]

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