Reply to Breaking the Mommy Martyr Routine

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[quote=Anonymous]I can relate to this. I'm new to the SAH game and gave up my good career. And my DH travels a ton. So, I feel like I'm raising my son pretty much solo and any help DH gives me is just a bonus.  It's hard not to be controlling when so much is on you. What helped me a lot was dividing the weekend into shifts. I love to sleep in, so DH has the morning shift from wake up to one pm.  The shift concept helped me to give up my mommy guilt (which is very ingrained in our society...mommy should do everything all the time and keep house near as a pin, otherwise we are failing at womanhood or something). The shift reminds me that the time is divided equally on weekends and there is no reason to feel guilty that I'm not up.  The hard part is relinquishing control.  Sometimes DH is not as careful as I would like, or doesn't give DS foods that I like etc. but I tell myself to get over it.  From her position, imagine if someone did your office job for you a few hours every weekend...it is hard not to be controlling when you spend every single day with a child.  Try the shifts, and gently try to help her cede some control.  Don't let her reluctance deter you. Ever since DH has stepped it up on weekends, our whole family is much happier![/quote]

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