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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are friends with this girl's mom why don't you say something to HER?  If this were your daughter would you want another parent (a *friend*) telling the school guidance counselor about this?

Unless you think there might be some troubling family dynamics that require professional intervention I would say something to your friend ASAP.  And I would try my best to keep the identity of who told you about this a secret - this is hard because you certainly don't want there to be any backlash on this young friend for speaking up and telling you about it.  I think so much has to do with how you think your friend might react to all of this....[/quote]

Oh, just realized you are friends with a friend of the mom.  You don't know the mom personally.  That is a tough one.

I think if I were that mom I would be grateful for someone telling me about it.  It would be really weird to hear it from a stranger though.  But I think it would be worse to hear it from the school.

I'm kind of leaning towards maybe going to our mutual friend (who knows us both) and asking her to come with me to tell this mom about it.  If the friend that knows this mom will not take the news well, I might opt to go to the counselor at the school instead.  It's a tough one.[/quote]

I wouldn't go to the mutual friend -- that's too much like gossiping about something very intimate.

And don't send an anonymous email -- that's just creepy.

My children are much younger, but I think I'd want to hear this, even if it came from a friend of a friend/former elementary school parent. You're clearly in the same social circle, since the girl's friend confided in you.[/quote]

Yeah, I don't like the idea of involving the mutual friend either because it does seem like gossip.  I guess it would depend on the sort of person that the mutual friend is - level headed type or gossipy hen type?  Obviously you don't go to a gossipy hen with news like this.  But if the mutual friend is a level headed type it might be easier to confide in her and ask for opinion at least on whether or not to tell the girl's mom.  I think I would be worried about some sort of angry blow back on the young friend who had told me about it.

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