Reply to Men: would you be willing to purchase an engagement ring for a woman?

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Reply to "Men: would you be willing to purchase an engagement ring for a woman?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When DH and I got engaged, we were both in grad school, and I was very opposed to debt for a ring. I got a classic $300 Pearl ring. That was what was in our budget (note the our budget-- because if you are going to get married, it should be a you plural budget). He said at the time that he wanted me to have a diamond someday, and about 7 years later, when we were a lot more financially secure, he bought me an anniversary band with a solitaire, which was a huge surprise.  This ring means a lot to me-- because DH had kept a promise he made and had slowly saved for it for years in a separate account (and there was no discussion about this, hints by me, resentment, etc in the intervening years-- I loved my original engagement ring), and because we really could afford it.

The point is, an engagement ring is a symbol. What you spend should matter a lot less than what it means to both of you. but it is a gift. And, as when you are married, one you should buy with an eye toward your future wife's jewelry preferences and you shared long term financial goals. [/quote]

Why didn't you buy him one?  [/quote]

He doesn't wear jewelry. When we got married, I got him an 18 Karet instead of a 14 Karet wedding band. It was a little bit of a financial stretch at the time, but it's the only jewelry he has ever worn, and he said it felt much more comfortable.

You sound like quite a catch by the way. Marriage is about finding a way to accommodate both partner's priorities and needs. I suppose having an engagement ring was important to me for symbolic reasons that had nothing to do with the actual cost or showing off how rich he was (he wasn't at the time).   He would have never worn one. But there have certainly been times in our marriage when we have spent money or more money because something was important to him. Little things like more expensive shirts-- again because of the texture (he seems to have mild sensory issues, like our kids).  And big things like spending more to get the house with an unfinished workshop for him. You are never going to get anywhere if you focus on everything being split equally, rather than placing equal importance on your individual priorities.  [/quote]

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